There are things that happen in life that really call into question what we’re doing and why we’re doing it. I have a moment like that now. It all came about with a job advertisement that caught my eye. It’s important to note that I’m quite happy in my current role. More money would be nice, but that’s true all the time I think 🙂 The critical juncture is me asking myself – what do I want to do next and how do I do it? To set the scene, it’s probably important to note that I’m not a goal oriented person. I will have an objective to reach, but the journey and what I learn or gain from that is as critical as the objective. Hence the reason I’m so enamoured with Scott Adam’s ideas of systems thinking and also using OKRs to manage life and work. So when an objective that is as yet cloudy and ill defined suddenly snaps into focus it’s confronting and hard for me to work with because the steps to get there are not fully developed.
The advertisement was for a job higher up the corporate ladder. Now here’s the point that’s making it hard for me – am I ready for this? The job I’m in is challenging, but not overly so; involves travel but not too much and has other great perks associated with it. I am used to a high paced environment with pressure and multiple things happening in the background all the time. I do not have this and while I’ve enjoyed it, I feel a bit flat and quiet. More so than I think I want to be. Part of this current role is a strategic approach – but I’m not really involved at the strategic discussions with the executives so I’m playing catch up a lot. This is fine, it’s the way the place works, but there is potential for more involvement that is unrealised.
I’m also thinking do I want to push higher and harder or should I consolidate where I am? We are under some financial pressure – if you’ve read any of my rental articles then you can see where things are at the moment there. Particularly when I am getting hit up for more repairs and have no rent coming in. The return hasn’t been spectacular so far this financial year (July to June) but it’s a long term thing so I’m trying to play it cool.
It’s only at the interview stage for this other role, but it’s also a time for me to reflect on where I am and where I want to be longer term – within the roles of work, family and personal objectives. This is where the real stress comes from and also, for me, where the pressure on my decisions becomes fully realised. Whenever there is a big decision to approach this is case but with a short time in my current role I’m wondering if I’m doing the right thing even applying. The grass is very green here after all. So I could end up with a great opportunity and weigh it against an existing great role which will be tricky. And here’s the thing – I’m really competitive so I really want to be offered this job, and have the chance to decide. I recognise that if I fail, at least I have the chance to work out what the next steps are for me so the systems thinking model means I win even though I’ve failed (although fail is a hard work here). Stay tuned and we’ll see what happens!